I was messing around with my cell phone yesterday and started editing my contacts list.
My friend Debbie was still in there even though she died about a month ago. I scroll past her name daily but, until yesterday, I couldn't stomach the thought of hitting "delete."
This is the second friend this year I have deleted from my contacts list. It's such a small detail but yet so profound. The permanency gives me great pause.
Somehow, hitting "delete" makes Debbie's death more real to me than attending her memorial service.
I guess grief is like that--it's often the little things that awaken the most sadness.
So today, my phone no longer contains her name and I say "goodbye again" to my dear friend Debbie.